It’s good to know that at least Kyle Walker is finally obeying isolation rules and keeping his butt grounded at home, minus the hookers.
Star full-back Walker – who plays for Manchester City and the England national squad, or ‘played’ for the national squad – had his first rules infringement by scoring off the pitch in a sex orgy organized by him with a friend and two hookers at his luxury flat in Manchester.
After that orgiastic debacle which earned censure from the public and his England squad boss, he was again ticked off only days later by cops for breaking social distancing rules taking a stroll in Prestbury, Chesire with none other than Wayne Rooney, his next door neighbour of football fame and bad boy notoriety.
Arguably remorseful and cowed into submission after being rapped on the knuckles for his deviant misdemeanours, the serial lockdown buffoon finally decided to stay at home to confine his activities to watching the boob tube, literally. He must have decided it was much safer, and probably cost a lot less, to ogle strippers online instead.
Interestingly, the ex-England national was not alone in watching naked girls twerking on a live video stream as he was soon joined online by equally bored Three Lions team-mates Jadon Sancho, Marcus Rashford and Raheem Sterling, together with a host of Southhampton and Everton stars who had all seen it fit and fun to also log in as the strip ‘n sleaze excitement began to entice the League’s other strapped down, frustrated stars.
Exiled in his own self-imposed ‘house arrest’, the £50-million star joined rapper Tory Lanez’s Instagram Live feed which featured controversial Canadian Zia, a London-based stripper, during a five-hour broadcast for 220,000 followers.
The Manchester City star enthusiastically lapped it all up and joined in the message board action adding emojis as the strip act progressed. Walker was then joined online by bored Three Lions buddy and Manchester United rival Marcus Rashford, with his other superstar pals joining him on the message board.
Borussia Dortmund’s hot star, Jadon Sancho, linked with a £100m summer transfer back to England, added to the emojis and even chipped in with chirpy comments in response to the provocative strip tease.
Manchester United striker Marcus Rashford, apparently now oblivious of the back injury that had sidelined him from action on the pitch, offered a “crying with laughter” emoji as Zia and others got naked.
Manchester City’s Raheem Sterling was not to be left out in the cold as he added: “Ahaha brooooo u kill me.”
Nigeria’s Everton star, Alex Iwobi, chipped in with a laughing emoji. Other players seen watching live strip shows on Instagram include Southampton’s Michael Obafemi who was following the saucy antics led by South London’s Swarmz. Obafemi saucily quipped, “I’m becoming a rapper” when a stripper on his feed grabbed hold of her boobs.
Other stars joining the comments on the message board included Courtney Senior of League Two outfit Colchester United and the former Manchester United youth player DJ Buffonge who is now playing for Pergolettese.
A source said: “I don’t think England boss Gareth Southgate, or the players’ club managers, will be enamoured at their stars participating in these kind of tawdry sex shows.
“But at least Walker and Co are getting their kicks from home and following isolation rules.”
Another source said: “Kyle knows he has let a lot of people down and is embarrassed by his behaviour, but he’s still not entirely convinced what he did was the wrong thing.
“He thinks it’s a bit like ordering a takeaway to your house because he didn’t leave home.”
Although, in all fairness to these young ‘uns, alleviating their boredom and easing their frustration going ga-ga over boobs and the like on the boob tube are much less apprehensible than organizing debauched sex parties, it’s definitely still a good thing not everyone has the same idea of ordering such steamy takeaways.